When You're Angry or Disappointmented at Yourself

-In a healthy and adaptive way, feeling angry or disappointed at yourself can help you recognize the importance of trying to never do said behavior that caused anger or disappointment. Maybe next time you won't snooze your alarm five times, or cook the recipe with two whole onions, or lie to your best friend, or cheat on someone, or stay in a toxic relationship!


-In contrast, feeling angry or disappointed at yourself in a negative and maladaptive way can lead to low self-esteem and decreased self-compassion, as well as self-blame and self-critical, negative thoughts towards the self ("You're so stupid! You're so weak! You can't do anything right! "No one likes you!"). It can also lead to low self-worth.


Separate your identity from the negative behavior, i.e: you are not bad--the behavior was/is bad. Think of ways you will try to change your behavior to lead to a different future. Express these things through writing or any form of expression. Create a self-care routine. Talk to yourself in a kind, tender, gentle, compassionate, and loving way. It may be helpful to listen to a guided Loving-Kindness Meditation. Be Brave. Change. Forgive Yourself.



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